Taking the Pressure Off

It's Day 20 and I am so happy that tomorrow marks the teens counting the days until my husband's extended trip is over.

Today started on yet another rough foot, but I stuck it out. And I took the pressure off of myself. Here's the thing. I am a naturally gracious and giving person. In high school I was dubbed The Softie because inevitably I would crack and give you whatever you asked for or help you with whatever you needed be it to copy my homework or give you my lunch... It's just who I am. And I don't think I am a total pushover because I will say what I think and hold my ground when it's truly warranted. It's hard reconciling this part of my nature with parenting however. I give too many chances. Warn too much. Believe that this TRULY is the LAST time that my daughter will lie to my face, the last poo poo word that will come out of my son's mouth... until the second my back turns, of course. And why does this always surprise and appall me? Because of my nature. But it's in THEIR childish nature to push boundaries and unfortunately, I have to toughen up and be Iron Mommy... which I hate. But, it gets the job done.

We have consequences in place and I need to just let it be. If they choose to misbehave, then they know the consequences. It's not my problem. So, I just stuck with it today. From start to finish. Yes, it's exhausting, but I felt in control. Even when they were out of control. Because they know, when they do X then Y is the consequence and you can leave Z (that's me) out of the equation entirely. I'm merely the Facilitator of Good Behavior. So, if you aren't going to behave then there is a ransom box filled with toys and a list of fun chores to do to get them back. And I'm not worried. I could see their little minds working. They know they have a lot of toys and I know they have a lot of toys and I could tell they were trying to figure out how long it would take for me to stockpile enough of their toys to make it hurt. The box isn't very big. I purposefully picked a small one. With a smirk on her face, the eldest asks, "So what happens when this is full?" I respond, "Mommy has a lot of empty boxes and bins and a whole empty attic to fill, so when you are ready to start behaving and earning your things back, that's fine." No pressure on me. I'm not the one losing my toys and I only gain little House Elves to help me clean.

Oh, and since I've been recounting a lot of negative experiences, I made sure to make note of one particularly precious positive one: This morning while changing the very messy diaper of my screaming little one, her older brother and sister came into her room and stood beside me and serenaded her very sweetly singing, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away." I always sing it to them and I always feel slightly bad about the wording because I don't have just one and only sunshine, I'm truly blessed to have three of them.

Until tomorrow.