Mostly about wrinkles in time, as in L'Engle's "A Wrinkle in Time"...
I took Science Fiction in college to fulfill an English requirement. It was most certainly not a first choice as the only science fiction or fantasy I had read thus far in my life had been the first Harry Potter and The Chronicles of Narnia, as far as I could tell those were in the Children's Books classifications in my mind, so I felt that I had no business being in this SF class and it was the only thing I could fit into my schedule and I was running out of time, so I sucked it up and enrolled in the class with a quick prayer that I would make it through this crazy semester in a class where I was sure I was going to be the only normal person among Clingon speakers and Trekkies and black shirted youth who studies Lord of the Rings and knew Elvish. I was pleasantly surprised. There were a few of those types in class, but I have to admit that this was far and away one of the most influential classes and I came to really enjoy the professor's style and have embraced this whole SF thing. And I realized that I had missed out on some really good writing and a facet of literature that I wrote off as "boy lit" or "Trekkie fad" books.
Since I grew up loving the Narnia books, I really have no idea how I arrived to adulthood without ever reading A Wrinkle in TIme. I guess I could ask that of myself about any number of other books as well, but the point is, I hadn't read it and I just did.
I read the entire book in a day and half, easily so because we had a lot of errands to run for my husband on his day home and I was the resident car sitter/snack hander to the kids in the backseat and trying to cram in as much reading as I could in between.
One thing that always amazes me about children's fantasy and science fiction books is the complete sense of wonder into which one can so easily slip. That and everything is described so plainly that there is really no trouble visualizing or imagining just what is going on and even the science concepts (whether they are real or not, I couldn't say), seem to make perfect sense in the suspended sense of wonder. I am always pleasantly surprised with fantasy and science fiction as a genre and have been lead into worlds with tesseracts and wrinkles, other dimensions, floo powder, shadows and magic... and now I sound like "One of Them" and I don't seem to mind. I used to read books that I thought grown ups would read so I could be, I dunno, ready for something, but now, being an adult being whisked away into worlds that don't exist seems so wonderfully appropriate.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Paper and the Apocalypse
I have always been a reader. Well, once I learned to read, I mean. And a book hoarder, too. I must have owned and read all The Babysitters Club books over and over for years and years. Once I discovered Anne of Green Gables and Little House on the Prairie and anything by Louisa May Alcott and Judy Blume, my life was complete. I was born in 1980 and didn't really have the need or the means for any kind of technology until I graduated high school in 1998. Even then, I thought of it as some kind of crazy luxury to have a cellular phone and email was just the weirdest thing to me. I can only imagine how those older than me must have felt. Well, those days are long since past and we now have the disturbing images of family dinners with everyone texting silently as they eat and third graders riding their bikes home from school with a cell phone as big as their little child palm pressed to their little ear. Laptop computers are everywhere, cell phones are commonplace, in fact, my husband and I haven't had a landline since 2003. Now there is the iPad, iPhone, and we are living in an iWorld. I can access any novel on my teeny tiny little phone and the iPad makes it seem as though the page is turning. If you haven't seen it or tried it, you should. It's kind of amazing. And very disturbing at the same time.
Now, I can see why this can be a positive change in terms of saving trees and paper and making literacy even more accessible, but I can't help but note the dark underbelly of all of this technology. Perhaps I have read too much science fiction and seen too many "technology causes the end of the world" type movies, but I can't help but half (okay, I admit more than half) believe that there is truth in all of it. Literacy rates are still not where they should be, even in this country as developed as it is. Furthermore, I doubt that making reading on the iPad so like actual reading will make it "cool" or whatever and with all the crazy games that are being churned out, I doubt many do much reading on something where they can have all kinds of gaming fun at a mere touch of the fingertip.
All that being said, there is still nothing that compares to the good, old fashioned book. The weight of a hardback, the portability and sleek cover of a paperback, the pungently sweet earthy smell of the paper of a new book just cracked or the musty damp smell of a much worn and much loved novel, the sweet caressing whisper of a page turned, the black letters marching past each leaf, line after line onward to the conclusion... there is nothing that could take the place of all that. No movie can ever truly capture what was first meant to be read and enjoyed. I even read once that the movie is like an ADD version of a book, with mostly the best parts just blown up and thrown at the viewer so fast so that they don't lose interest because if someone can't sit and watch a two hour movie, then how on earth can they devote the time and energy it takes to conquer a whole 500-page novel? My friend, that takes more than just a two hour stint in an easy chair with a bowl of popcorn, no, a book is meant as an escape that takes hours and hours where you open your mind to this world of words that you get to re-create and interpret in such a way that only you can. Sometimes it becomes something even greater and so much more than what the author even intended. The written word has such a life of it's own...
So, when all the technology starts to break down and the apocalypse has us all in dirt caverns underneath the terrain and we are left with nothing to do but to re-build society, you are welcome to come visit me and borrow a book, because I assure you, I don't think there will be electricity for you to plug in your Playstation. I am sure those "How to Make a Candle" classes at the Y will come in handy, as well...
Now, I can see why this can be a positive change in terms of saving trees and paper and making literacy even more accessible, but I can't help but note the dark underbelly of all of this technology. Perhaps I have read too much science fiction and seen too many "technology causes the end of the world" type movies, but I can't help but half (okay, I admit more than half) believe that there is truth in all of it. Literacy rates are still not where they should be, even in this country as developed as it is. Furthermore, I doubt that making reading on the iPad so like actual reading will make it "cool" or whatever and with all the crazy games that are being churned out, I doubt many do much reading on something where they can have all kinds of gaming fun at a mere touch of the fingertip.
All that being said, there is still nothing that compares to the good, old fashioned book. The weight of a hardback, the portability and sleek cover of a paperback, the pungently sweet earthy smell of the paper of a new book just cracked or the musty damp smell of a much worn and much loved novel, the sweet caressing whisper of a page turned, the black letters marching past each leaf, line after line onward to the conclusion... there is nothing that could take the place of all that. No movie can ever truly capture what was first meant to be read and enjoyed. I even read once that the movie is like an ADD version of a book, with mostly the best parts just blown up and thrown at the viewer so fast so that they don't lose interest because if someone can't sit and watch a two hour movie, then how on earth can they devote the time and energy it takes to conquer a whole 500-page novel? My friend, that takes more than just a two hour stint in an easy chair with a bowl of popcorn, no, a book is meant as an escape that takes hours and hours where you open your mind to this world of words that you get to re-create and interpret in such a way that only you can. Sometimes it becomes something even greater and so much more than what the author even intended. The written word has such a life of it's own...
So, when all the technology starts to break down and the apocalypse has us all in dirt caverns underneath the terrain and we are left with nothing to do but to re-build society, you are welcome to come visit me and borrow a book, because I assure you, I don't think there will be electricity for you to plug in your Playstation. I am sure those "How to Make a Candle" classes at the Y will come in handy, as well...
Friday, April 9, 2010
What the Books Don't Tell You...
...or Things I Have Learned So Far.
I've read a good many books on pregnancy and parenting and raising toddlers and controlling your temper and on and on and on. You want a list, I can get it to you, but you may not need it. Through all this reading and research on how to be the best Mommy I can be, I have really only learned one thing. The books can't tell you everything. Don't get me wrong, there are the helpful ones that make good practical points and have hard and fast tips that one can implement in daily life, but for the most part in parenting, I have found it's sink or swim; you gotta think on your feet! I have learned this "in the trenches" and I know this is only the beginning. It isn't the most fun way to learn a lesson, it's by far one of the most effective.
The things I have learned that were never in any book:
In all the pregnancy literature, one is led to believe that most people have contractions, go into labor, water breaks, there is pushing and the baby arrives. Another scenario? Water breaks, contractions, pushing, baby arrives. Or there are planned and emergency C-sections. There are only so many pathways a baby can take to come into this world... Me? My water broke and nothing happened. Both times. I waited and waited. I was in the hospital sitting pretty with my first child over 36 hours. It wasn't until right before the birth that I had much sign of active contractions. When my water broke with my second child and nothing happened, it was then I started to hyperventilate. Who wants to sit around and wait for nothing to happen? The books never told me about that. That perhaps my water would break and I would have to be pumped full of pitocin for two days until my child wanted to make an appearance wasn't on the list of "What Happens". The upside was that I wasn't one of those screaming women in pain for two days. I guess I can't complain, but the point is, there wasn't a section on "What Happens When Nothing Happens".
The sleep issue- Oh yes, the books will tell you how the average baby wakes up for feedings every 2-4 hours or so and that by a certain week, the baby should be sleeping through the night. Yeah? But what if she doesn't? Then what? And even when they do start sleeping for 6 hour stretches, it still won't be enough. The books tell you to get rest when you can and congratulations on being a new mommy. The books don't tell you that even if you have the bestest baby and can sleep when the baby is sleeping, the fact is, it's never enough. You will never sleep that way you slept before you became a mother. Even when your kids are in their toddler years because they find new ways to interrupt your rest. Yes, the exhausting newborn period is by far the worst of it, especially when there are other children in the family, but it is short lived. What I have learned is counter intuitive, but it worked for me. The trick for me was to NOT fall asleep when the baby was sleeping. It was far worse for me to have fallen asleep and be jarred awake by the shrill crying of a ravenous baby. It put me in the worst mood and it made me angry. I was angry at this little helpless ball of human for being hungry? Absurd! So, rather than get annoyed at my child for needing me and wanting me to fulfill the most simple and basic of needs, I would stay awake and do something that I found fulfilling; I would read, sip tea or coffee, watch a favorite movie, knit, complete some small task or project that made me feel productive outside of the baby and I learned to just deal with being tired. This probably won't work for most, but it worked for me. I accepted the fact that I would be tired and that if I fell asleep and was awoken by screaming, I would be upset. Weird, but whatever. The books never presented this option.
Poo slinging- My children have slung poo. During naps. My daughter was the worst when it came to this and I cannot count how many times I had to strip her room to the rails and disinfect everything because she got into her diaper/pullups and liked to make a massive disgusting mess with it. She did this over and over and over. I definitely had my breakdown moments and even thought she had some kind of developmental issue or something because I had NEVER heard of this before. I mean, I heard of the odd, curious poo incident that was never repeated again, but this was constant. I had to look up chat groups for mothers online to find out if this was "normal" behavior. Yes, it is, unfortunately, common. My child is just persistent and likes to test boundaries, hence the repetitive episodes. I've learned that onesies underneath backward footsie pajamas will curb the behavior until the phase passes. I have also heard of duct taping the tabs of the diapers, but I just couldn't do that! Hence my children are now dubbed, The Backward Pajama Brigade. I didn't learn this from a book.
Positive training techniques- This and reverse psychology doesn't work on my kids. Well, mostly my daughter, so far anyways.
"Okay. If you clean up, I can let you watch The Wonder Pets before dinner."
"Mommy, that's okay. I don't want to clean up or watch The Wonder Pets."
Great. Now what? The books say to give a positive goal for a task completed. Instead of negative attention and negative consequences, parenting should entail positive rewards for a desirable action. Thus cleaning up=coveted television time, the good paints, extra stories before bed, etc. This hasn't worked so well. Or if there is a negative action such as smacking the little brother and fighting over a toy, Mommy has to put the toy away and time outs are issued. My daughter chooses to give me the toy, saying how she doesn't want it anyways and then hauls off and whacks her little brother anyways. I think she just wants to and nothing will stop her. Sometimes she puts herself in time out. As long as she gets to whack him, the losing the toy and sitting in time out seem just payment for her getting to do that. What I have learned to do is put her in her room and give myself a time out. She doesn't want to stay alone in her room (a fate as bad at bamboo under the fingernails, apparently), nor does she want me off doing something by myself that she is not privy to. Kinda weird, but AHA! I have found SOMETHING to use in training. Sort of. We are still working on this one.
Child proofing- In the books there are lists upon lists of brand name items to buy so in order to preserve your little ones from all the death traps and dangers that any unsuspecting parent seems to have in their home. There are plug stoppers, toilet latches, cupboard latches, rubber tips for sharp furniture edges, drawer latches, baby gates, bathtub faucet covers, lions, tigers, bears, oh my. Very few of these are necessary, if work at all. My children walk over to the outlets and pluck the covers out and pop them in their mouths!! It's safer to not have them in because when they are in, they pose a choking hazard (!!). The baby gates are merely fun obstacles for climbing over. The rubber tips for the sharp corners? They pull those off too. And kids are smart. How often have we heard the story of someone almost peeing in their pants because they can't get the toilet latch to give and their child comes around the corner and in the blink of an eye, the seat is up and you have no idea how they figured out what a grown person couldn't. Yes, these things comes in handy and we do want to keep our children safe, but some of these things are just a drain on the wallet and end up being used not as intended. The books praise these items, I found some of them quite useless. Paying for a toilet latch? Or closing the bathroom door? You gotta do what you gotta do.
Like I said, I am only at the beginning and I am sure every mother has a unique story on what worked or didn't work for them. These are just a few of mine. If only there were a book with all of those things that the other books don't tell you... Hmmmm..
That's all for now.
I've read a good many books on pregnancy and parenting and raising toddlers and controlling your temper and on and on and on. You want a list, I can get it to you, but you may not need it. Through all this reading and research on how to be the best Mommy I can be, I have really only learned one thing. The books can't tell you everything. Don't get me wrong, there are the helpful ones that make good practical points and have hard and fast tips that one can implement in daily life, but for the most part in parenting, I have found it's sink or swim; you gotta think on your feet! I have learned this "in the trenches" and I know this is only the beginning. It isn't the most fun way to learn a lesson, it's by far one of the most effective.
The things I have learned that were never in any book:
In all the pregnancy literature, one is led to believe that most people have contractions, go into labor, water breaks, there is pushing and the baby arrives. Another scenario? Water breaks, contractions, pushing, baby arrives. Or there are planned and emergency C-sections. There are only so many pathways a baby can take to come into this world... Me? My water broke and nothing happened. Both times. I waited and waited. I was in the hospital sitting pretty with my first child over 36 hours. It wasn't until right before the birth that I had much sign of active contractions. When my water broke with my second child and nothing happened, it was then I started to hyperventilate. Who wants to sit around and wait for nothing to happen? The books never told me about that. That perhaps my water would break and I would have to be pumped full of pitocin for two days until my child wanted to make an appearance wasn't on the list of "What Happens". The upside was that I wasn't one of those screaming women in pain for two days. I guess I can't complain, but the point is, there wasn't a section on "What Happens When Nothing Happens".
The sleep issue- Oh yes, the books will tell you how the average baby wakes up for feedings every 2-4 hours or so and that by a certain week, the baby should be sleeping through the night. Yeah? But what if she doesn't? Then what? And even when they do start sleeping for 6 hour stretches, it still won't be enough. The books tell you to get rest when you can and congratulations on being a new mommy. The books don't tell you that even if you have the bestest baby and can sleep when the baby is sleeping, the fact is, it's never enough. You will never sleep that way you slept before you became a mother. Even when your kids are in their toddler years because they find new ways to interrupt your rest. Yes, the exhausting newborn period is by far the worst of it, especially when there are other children in the family, but it is short lived. What I have learned is counter intuitive, but it worked for me. The trick for me was to NOT fall asleep when the baby was sleeping. It was far worse for me to have fallen asleep and be jarred awake by the shrill crying of a ravenous baby. It put me in the worst mood and it made me angry. I was angry at this little helpless ball of human for being hungry? Absurd! So, rather than get annoyed at my child for needing me and wanting me to fulfill the most simple and basic of needs, I would stay awake and do something that I found fulfilling; I would read, sip tea or coffee, watch a favorite movie, knit, complete some small task or project that made me feel productive outside of the baby and I learned to just deal with being tired. This probably won't work for most, but it worked for me. I accepted the fact that I would be tired and that if I fell asleep and was awoken by screaming, I would be upset. Weird, but whatever. The books never presented this option.
Poo slinging- My children have slung poo. During naps. My daughter was the worst when it came to this and I cannot count how many times I had to strip her room to the rails and disinfect everything because she got into her diaper/pullups and liked to make a massive disgusting mess with it. She did this over and over and over. I definitely had my breakdown moments and even thought she had some kind of developmental issue or something because I had NEVER heard of this before. I mean, I heard of the odd, curious poo incident that was never repeated again, but this was constant. I had to look up chat groups for mothers online to find out if this was "normal" behavior. Yes, it is, unfortunately, common. My child is just persistent and likes to test boundaries, hence the repetitive episodes. I've learned that onesies underneath backward footsie pajamas will curb the behavior until the phase passes. I have also heard of duct taping the tabs of the diapers, but I just couldn't do that! Hence my children are now dubbed, The Backward Pajama Brigade. I didn't learn this from a book.
Positive training techniques- This and reverse psychology doesn't work on my kids. Well, mostly my daughter, so far anyways.
"Okay. If you clean up, I can let you watch The Wonder Pets before dinner."
"Mommy, that's okay. I don't want to clean up or watch The Wonder Pets."
Great. Now what? The books say to give a positive goal for a task completed. Instead of negative attention and negative consequences, parenting should entail positive rewards for a desirable action. Thus cleaning up=coveted television time, the good paints, extra stories before bed, etc. This hasn't worked so well. Or if there is a negative action such as smacking the little brother and fighting over a toy, Mommy has to put the toy away and time outs are issued. My daughter chooses to give me the toy, saying how she doesn't want it anyways and then hauls off and whacks her little brother anyways. I think she just wants to and nothing will stop her. Sometimes she puts herself in time out. As long as she gets to whack him, the losing the toy and sitting in time out seem just payment for her getting to do that. What I have learned to do is put her in her room and give myself a time out. She doesn't want to stay alone in her room (a fate as bad at bamboo under the fingernails, apparently), nor does she want me off doing something by myself that she is not privy to. Kinda weird, but AHA! I have found SOMETHING to use in training. Sort of. We are still working on this one.
Child proofing- In the books there are lists upon lists of brand name items to buy so in order to preserve your little ones from all the death traps and dangers that any unsuspecting parent seems to have in their home. There are plug stoppers, toilet latches, cupboard latches, rubber tips for sharp furniture edges, drawer latches, baby gates, bathtub faucet covers, lions, tigers, bears, oh my. Very few of these are necessary, if work at all. My children walk over to the outlets and pluck the covers out and pop them in their mouths!! It's safer to not have them in because when they are in, they pose a choking hazard (!!). The baby gates are merely fun obstacles for climbing over. The rubber tips for the sharp corners? They pull those off too. And kids are smart. How often have we heard the story of someone almost peeing in their pants because they can't get the toilet latch to give and their child comes around the corner and in the blink of an eye, the seat is up and you have no idea how they figured out what a grown person couldn't. Yes, these things comes in handy and we do want to keep our children safe, but some of these things are just a drain on the wallet and end up being used not as intended. The books praise these items, I found some of them quite useless. Paying for a toilet latch? Or closing the bathroom door? You gotta do what you gotta do.
Like I said, I am only at the beginning and I am sure every mother has a unique story on what worked or didn't work for them. These are just a few of mine. If only there were a book with all of those things that the other books don't tell you... Hmmmm..
That's all for now.
Friday, March 19, 2010
Spring and Summer Reading
Every season opens up with a new and refreshing urge to read. The spring brings this along with the warmer temperatures. The sun is shining, the days are lengthening and the library and bookstores beckon to me afresh.
I am already prepared for all my Austen reading (which I have fallen shamelessly behind on). I am just finishing up Emma and will start on Mansfield Park shortly. But woman cannot subsist on Austen alone. Oh no. There must be a well balanced diet of literature. I just got Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood from the library (that covers Science Fiction) and I just requested a copy of The Creative Family: How to Encourage Imagination and Nurture Family Connections (which covers "Self Help") and I bought Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver (covers both food and memoir categories) and I am now realizing that all my picks are by female authors. I guess that means that I need to read more male authored books this fall along with my plan of delving back into Shakespeare if I am truly going for balanced. Oh and maybe I need more foreign literature in the mix, too?
Life is too short and there are too many books to read...
I am already prepared for all my Austen reading (which I have fallen shamelessly behind on). I am just finishing up Emma and will start on Mansfield Park shortly. But woman cannot subsist on Austen alone. Oh no. There must be a well balanced diet of literature. I just got Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood from the library (that covers Science Fiction) and I just requested a copy of The Creative Family: How to Encourage Imagination and Nurture Family Connections (which covers "Self Help") and I bought Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver (covers both food and memoir categories) and I am now realizing that all my picks are by female authors. I guess that means that I need to read more male authored books this fall along with my plan of delving back into Shakespeare if I am truly going for balanced. Oh and maybe I need more foreign literature in the mix, too?
Life is too short and there are too many books to read...
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Catch-up, Ketchup, Catsup
That is why I haven't blogged. I am playing catch up and living life, the life where there is a lot of ketchup (or catsup) served on almost anything to my two little wonderful Yahoos.
That and when I get into a dark mood, I don't like to blog too much because then it's just a big long complaint about my own personal toils and struggles and who wants to read that? Everyone has their own kind of nonsense to deal with and so why should I go on and on about my own? So I decided to keep it to myself, get through it, and am currently "brushing the dirt off my shoulder" (I couldn't resist). The sun is shining and "there is nothing to do today, but smile" and so I am. Smiling.
I don't know about anyone else, but sometimes just making a list, however long and detailed and incredibly impossible to complete writing let alone actually get around to finishing the tasks, makes me feel so good. Accomplished. I could write lists and lists and just that feeling of getting it all out of my head and neatly onto paper or in my schedule or phone, I feel like the hardest part is over. I have been making lists and have been focusing on tasks and coming to see the things that truly count.
Rather than going into it all, one major thing has come to me. I don't know if this is an actual saying, but here it is:
It's not the quantity in life, but the quality of life that you lead.
That is what I have been learning. I might not have all the quantities of the things I want for my family and my children, but when it comes to the quality part, that is what I have been focusing on. Maybe the quantity part will come later after I have learned my lesson on quality!
I am returning to my lists and staying focused. The past month has been a busy derailment (is that even a word?), but I have a wonderful sunny day to literally dry out from the rain, take a breather, and have some quality family time... which seems to include a lot of ketchup.
That's all my rambling for now...
PS- If you get all my references to songs, etc., I will bake you a batch of cookies.
That and when I get into a dark mood, I don't like to blog too much because then it's just a big long complaint about my own personal toils and struggles and who wants to read that? Everyone has their own kind of nonsense to deal with and so why should I go on and on about my own? So I decided to keep it to myself, get through it, and am currently "brushing the dirt off my shoulder" (I couldn't resist). The sun is shining and "there is nothing to do today, but smile" and so I am. Smiling.
I don't know about anyone else, but sometimes just making a list, however long and detailed and incredibly impossible to complete writing let alone actually get around to finishing the tasks, makes me feel so good. Accomplished. I could write lists and lists and just that feeling of getting it all out of my head and neatly onto paper or in my schedule or phone, I feel like the hardest part is over. I have been making lists and have been focusing on tasks and coming to see the things that truly count.
Rather than going into it all, one major thing has come to me. I don't know if this is an actual saying, but here it is:
It's not the quantity in life, but the quality of life that you lead.
That is what I have been learning. I might not have all the quantities of the things I want for my family and my children, but when it comes to the quality part, that is what I have been focusing on. Maybe the quantity part will come later after I have learned my lesson on quality!
I am returning to my lists and staying focused. The past month has been a busy derailment (is that even a word?), but I have a wonderful sunny day to literally dry out from the rain, take a breather, and have some quality family time... which seems to include a lot of ketchup.
That's all my rambling for now...
PS- If you get all my references to songs, etc., I will bake you a batch of cookies.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
48 Hours
I had to drop my husband off at the train station this morning at 5:23 or somewhere there about. I was still sipping my coffee so I might be slightly off of the exact time, but either way it was just past 5 in the morning, it's still winter, it's dark, cold, and no one wants to be heading off to work at that time of day, I don't care if you are premier chocolate taster for whoever is the leading brand of chocolate right now. I don't think I can be convinced... unless you've been sleeping since 4pm the previous day, of course and really love your job like you would do cartwheels up and down the aisle of the purple line until it pulled into North Station.
So, we said our goodbyes and I watched him tramp up the steps and disappear along with the masses into the belly of the train, I put the car in reverse and made my way back home. It was when I pulled into the driveway and grabbed my precious coffee cup, pulled the keys out of the ignition, and reached for my phone when I realized that not only did I have one phone, I had two! Instantly I think, "I need to call/text him and let him know I have his phone!" Instantly, I realize that only I would be receiving that call or text. So ahead of me was a long day of no random funny texts or messages from my husband because I held in my hand his arms, legs, feet, and everything else. I had his source of life. It's so true that technology had become so necessary and important to us in our lives, that when it is taken away, even briefly as it was today, it sends one reeling in a way. I had to now call the actual place of employment and ask to speak to my husband. This is foreign to me. He answered so I didn't have to babble to a stranger so that was good! Calling a land line seemed odd to me. Furthermore, it was imperative that I speak to him because I hadn't a clue as to which station or at what time he would be returning in the evening. He usually calls or texts me and I show up. I got the proper information and was able to speak to him twice during the day, which is fine, but when I pulled into the station where he said he would be at the appointed time, my own phone's power ran out. This is when it came to me, that the 48 hour missing person rule is completely outdated.
In this age of instantaneous updates on all sorts of technological devices that reach everywhere and beyond the Arctic it seems, there really is no reason why a law enforcement agency shouldn't take seriously someone's claim that a person was missing. Granted there should be a slew of criteria, but today proved that even without cell phones, there is still the computer, the land line of his work, I could have called a friend of his who he worked with or any number of people or even driven to Boston and waltzed into his workplace calling his name like a raving lunatic. He would not have appreciated it and I would be mortifyingly embarrassed and would never do such a thing in the first place, but the point is that we no longer live in the days of horse drawn buggies where someone travels months and months somewhere with no word and that was normal. If someone doesn't text us back in more than a few minutes, we start to get antsy. If someone was truly missing, it wouldn't take two full days to know. Or would it?
Then again, maybe we have gotten too used to being so accessible. A few moments without the telephone ringing, texts binging and the little bleeps of chat windows popping up the second one logs into the computer, is almost crippling and piercingly silent. Where is everyone? A quiet panic ensues until the "dead zone" you might have walked into has cleared or whatever interference may have occurred is cleared up, and all is right in the world, everyone is where they should be and you are no longer alone. Maybe we are just too spoiled with all of this nonstop need for technological contact. If I don't get a text response from a friend for a few hours, should I panic? Is he or she in a morgue somewhere? Trapped in a mine? Trying to text me of some evil event and has no little bars lit up on their phone? The most likely answer is, no, they are probably taking a moment of real life. Maybe enjoying the silence, away from all the blipping and technological burps we have gotten so accustomed to hearing on a daily basis.
So, maybe there is a good reason for the 48 hour rule after all.
So, we said our goodbyes and I watched him tramp up the steps and disappear along with the masses into the belly of the train, I put the car in reverse and made my way back home. It was when I pulled into the driveway and grabbed my precious coffee cup, pulled the keys out of the ignition, and reached for my phone when I realized that not only did I have one phone, I had two! Instantly I think, "I need to call/text him and let him know I have his phone!" Instantly, I realize that only I would be receiving that call or text. So ahead of me was a long day of no random funny texts or messages from my husband because I held in my hand his arms, legs, feet, and everything else. I had his source of life. It's so true that technology had become so necessary and important to us in our lives, that when it is taken away, even briefly as it was today, it sends one reeling in a way. I had to now call the actual place of employment and ask to speak to my husband. This is foreign to me. He answered so I didn't have to babble to a stranger so that was good! Calling a land line seemed odd to me. Furthermore, it was imperative that I speak to him because I hadn't a clue as to which station or at what time he would be returning in the evening. He usually calls or texts me and I show up. I got the proper information and was able to speak to him twice during the day, which is fine, but when I pulled into the station where he said he would be at the appointed time, my own phone's power ran out. This is when it came to me, that the 48 hour missing person rule is completely outdated.
In this age of instantaneous updates on all sorts of technological devices that reach everywhere and beyond the Arctic it seems, there really is no reason why a law enforcement agency shouldn't take seriously someone's claim that a person was missing. Granted there should be a slew of criteria, but today proved that even without cell phones, there is still the computer, the land line of his work, I could have called a friend of his who he worked with or any number of people or even driven to Boston and waltzed into his workplace calling his name like a raving lunatic. He would not have appreciated it and I would be mortifyingly embarrassed and would never do such a thing in the first place, but the point is that we no longer live in the days of horse drawn buggies where someone travels months and months somewhere with no word and that was normal. If someone doesn't text us back in more than a few minutes, we start to get antsy. If someone was truly missing, it wouldn't take two full days to know. Or would it?
Then again, maybe we have gotten too used to being so accessible. A few moments without the telephone ringing, texts binging and the little bleeps of chat windows popping up the second one logs into the computer, is almost crippling and piercingly silent. Where is everyone? A quiet panic ensues until the "dead zone" you might have walked into has cleared or whatever interference may have occurred is cleared up, and all is right in the world, everyone is where they should be and you are no longer alone. Maybe we are just too spoiled with all of this nonstop need for technological contact. If I don't get a text response from a friend for a few hours, should I panic? Is he or she in a morgue somewhere? Trapped in a mine? Trying to text me of some evil event and has no little bars lit up on their phone? The most likely answer is, no, they are probably taking a moment of real life. Maybe enjoying the silence, away from all the blipping and technological burps we have gotten so accustomed to hearing on a daily basis.
So, maybe there is a good reason for the 48 hour rule after all.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
I Hate Wagons
We all know about "The Wagon" and we are all either on one, off one or mid tumble. I am mid tumble and I guess tomorrow I need to climb my chubby bum back up on this wagon of mine.
Yet another life lesson learned. What came easily ten years ago, does not come easily now. What worked ten years ago, does not seem to work now. Am I doomed to be a chubby woman the rest of my days alive on this earth? Good God Almighty, I hope not.
When Andrew and I first got married he used to tease me relentlessly about my little philosophy of "everything is re-evaluated in the morning." On evenings before our days off together, we would talk about how the next day "held so much promise" and we planned on waking up early and getting list after list of things done. We would prepare for the coming week and just talking about it, making a plan seemed just as good as ACTUALLY carrying it out. The next morning would come, "Doo doo doo!! The day has arrived," the little alarm clock seemed to sing to us, and would we actually go through with our productive plans? I don't recall anything ever really going completely as we had painstakingly planned because Andrew would always hit the snooze button and then ask me if we were really going to get out of bed and I would almost always say with my face still buried deep into the pillow, "Everything is re-evaluated in the morning." Off we were back to our slumber and when we finally rolled out of our apartment at noon or so, we got a few things done, but let's face it, we liked our sleep (oh the days before children arrived!!) and we enjoyed our leisure just as much as making plans and not carrying them out. This doesn't work anymore.
Missing a workout here and there and enjoying a late night pizza-fest wasn't a big deal at that time. Now, it's major damage. It's not just a re-evaluated dinner, it completely constitutes an official "fall off the wagon" status. Which means there needs to be a "climbing back on the wagon." I am still struggling at the ten pound mark and have a ways to go. At least it's something. Maybe I should re-evaluate my diet. If I can't seem to stay on the plan I have picked, does that mean perhaps, I should choose something to suit my needs and personality and eating tendencies a little better? Or does that mean that I have used my Re-evaluation Philosophy to my own detriment and health? I really can't say. Maybe a little bit of both?
Either way, I hate this wagon. Climbing back on it is a b****. (Forgive the *****, but that's how I feel)
Yet another life lesson learned. What came easily ten years ago, does not come easily now. What worked ten years ago, does not seem to work now. Am I doomed to be a chubby woman the rest of my days alive on this earth? Good God Almighty, I hope not.
When Andrew and I first got married he used to tease me relentlessly about my little philosophy of "everything is re-evaluated in the morning." On evenings before our days off together, we would talk about how the next day "held so much promise" and we planned on waking up early and getting list after list of things done. We would prepare for the coming week and just talking about it, making a plan seemed just as good as ACTUALLY carrying it out. The next morning would come, "Doo doo doo!! The day has arrived," the little alarm clock seemed to sing to us, and would we actually go through with our productive plans? I don't recall anything ever really going completely as we had painstakingly planned because Andrew would always hit the snooze button and then ask me if we were really going to get out of bed and I would almost always say with my face still buried deep into the pillow, "Everything is re-evaluated in the morning." Off we were back to our slumber and when we finally rolled out of our apartment at noon or so, we got a few things done, but let's face it, we liked our sleep (oh the days before children arrived!!) and we enjoyed our leisure just as much as making plans and not carrying them out. This doesn't work anymore.
Missing a workout here and there and enjoying a late night pizza-fest wasn't a big deal at that time. Now, it's major damage. It's not just a re-evaluated dinner, it completely constitutes an official "fall off the wagon" status. Which means there needs to be a "climbing back on the wagon." I am still struggling at the ten pound mark and have a ways to go. At least it's something. Maybe I should re-evaluate my diet. If I can't seem to stay on the plan I have picked, does that mean perhaps, I should choose something to suit my needs and personality and eating tendencies a little better? Or does that mean that I have used my Re-evaluation Philosophy to my own detriment and health? I really can't say. Maybe a little bit of both?
Either way, I hate this wagon. Climbing back on it is a b****. (Forgive the *****, but that's how I feel)
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Mommy-dom
I was talking to a dear friend the other day and she mentioned something that I have found to be oh so true, thus far in my Mommy-dom journey. She said that being a mother, for the most part, is a thankless and sleepless job. Well, I do get thanked sometimes, "Thank you Mommy for lunch/dinner/milk" but that is mostly because I have taught my daughter to say it because I want to hear it. Other than that, I don't get much thanks or sleep for that matter, but that's ok. Being a mommy and watching your children grow to become amazing people is thanks enough...sometimes.
It's this in between part, the "in the trenches," so to speak that is the hard part. It is oh so true also that just when you have gotten out of one phase with the kids, you find yourself smack dab in the middle of another and you wonder, "What the heck is going on!?" This part in between birth and adulthood has proven to be quite interesting. My husband refers to our children lovingly as "malfunctioning robots" and again, it seems to be very true. You never really know what will happen from one moment to the next.
Yesterday I went into my four year old daughter's room for a routine straightening and I found all kinds of interesting things. The bed was un-made so I went to make it and as I lifted the comforter and sheet to shake out and straighten her comforter I realized there was a bottle of baby Tylenol (unopened thank God!), an open tube of Aquifor (which explained the inexplicably greasy hair my daughter had that day) which lay in a massive greasy spot on her new comforter, and Ricola wrappers. Hm. I called her into her room and after some stern words, I find that she likes to get out of bed and sneak into her brother's room and search through his drawers which is where she found the first two items. Furthermore, she must have found her way into our room at some point and swiped my Ricolas which I keep by my bed. Now the children are never really left alone other than at night when I put them to bed, so this explains the bags under her little eyes. My little scavenger night owl. Further clean up revealed her hidden stash of Ricolas stuffed into a bag in the corner of her room, some of which had been chewed on and replaced back in their wrappers. So she must get all hopped up on honey and echinacea Ricolas and wander around at night greasing up her bed and hair with Aquifor and doing Lord only knows what else. The gate in front of her door is no longer effective. So, her bed linens have been washed for the second time in the two weeks since she has gotten them and all items have been replaced in their proper storage places. For now.
What is next?
That's all for now...
It's this in between part, the "in the trenches," so to speak that is the hard part. It is oh so true also that just when you have gotten out of one phase with the kids, you find yourself smack dab in the middle of another and you wonder, "What the heck is going on!?" This part in between birth and adulthood has proven to be quite interesting. My husband refers to our children lovingly as "malfunctioning robots" and again, it seems to be very true. You never really know what will happen from one moment to the next.
Yesterday I went into my four year old daughter's room for a routine straightening and I found all kinds of interesting things. The bed was un-made so I went to make it and as I lifted the comforter and sheet to shake out and straighten her comforter I realized there was a bottle of baby Tylenol (unopened thank God!), an open tube of Aquifor (which explained the inexplicably greasy hair my daughter had that day) which lay in a massive greasy spot on her new comforter, and Ricola wrappers. Hm. I called her into her room and after some stern words, I find that she likes to get out of bed and sneak into her brother's room and search through his drawers which is where she found the first two items. Furthermore, she must have found her way into our room at some point and swiped my Ricolas which I keep by my bed. Now the children are never really left alone other than at night when I put them to bed, so this explains the bags under her little eyes. My little scavenger night owl. Further clean up revealed her hidden stash of Ricolas stuffed into a bag in the corner of her room, some of which had been chewed on and replaced back in their wrappers. So she must get all hopped up on honey and echinacea Ricolas and wander around at night greasing up her bed and hair with Aquifor and doing Lord only knows what else. The gate in front of her door is no longer effective. So, her bed linens have been washed for the second time in the two weeks since she has gotten them and all items have been replaced in their proper storage places. For now.
What is next?
That's all for now...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Twenty Days In...
Sometimes change can be a hard thing. It's exciting and fun, but more often than not, it's not the easiest thing to actually put into practice.
I finished Phase 1 of the South Beach diet and, I am not going to lie, it got old fast. Who wants to eat egg beaters and a pile of vegetables for breakfast washed down with a V8 every morning? Not I. I joked with my father that maybe that's the real premise of the diet, that you get bored and sick of eating all the same things and just stop altogether. Well, I had my moments, but I charged forward and did what I could and along with exercise, I lost about fifteen pounds in the first two weeks. This delighted me and also concerned me. When I lose weight fast it usually means one thing: it's going to come back. Well, I moved on to Phase 2 which re-introduces the "good carbs" back into your diet. I am attributing the initial weight loss as shock because of the massive change from eating holiday goodness to egg whites and raw veggies for two weeks. Well, moving on to Phase 2 meant to me that I had a splurge day coming. Well that day kinda camped out for about two and half days. And when I say "splurge" I don't mean that I ate cake and ice cream. I had veggie sushi and low fat, low calorie home made Chinese chicken dumplings and stove popped popcorn with olive oil. But that was enough to do it. Five pounds came back, but that still leaves me hovering at ten pounds less than when I started, so twenty days in, and all in all, I will take it.
So, today I am shaking off the early week digression and facing each day as it comes. One of the biggest lessons I have had to learn is that this all takes time. I can't wish weight away and as much as I would love to just be done with it all in a week or two, it took much longer for my body to get into the shape that I am in (which is round!) and so it's going to probably take just as long, if not longer to get out of it. I know it is said over and over in all weight loss literature, but it's a bitter pill to swallow when you just want the struggle to be over. That's another thing, it's hard not to be jealous of those who have the natural bent toward fitness and thinness. It's hard to restrain the slapping mechanism in my arm when a thin person complains about the three pounds they gained over the holidays. I know I shouldn't judge until I've walked a mile in their shoes, but walking a mile in someone's shoes who only has three pounds to lose sounds like heaven to me right now. Conversely, I can at least rejoice that I don't hundreds of pounds to lose with medical conditions and diabetes and what not. Thank God that is not the case. So, there is the silver lining. Overall, I am staying focused and changing my thoughts on food and learning what is acceptable for most may not necessarily be beneficial to me and there is no need getting my panties in a bunch over it all. As the saying goes, "it is, what it is" and I might as well just get used to it and move on.
In other news, now that the holiday crunch is over, I am amazed at the time I have once again. What on earth did I do before the fall hit? I haven't a clue. My evenings stretch before me like a wide open plain filled with possibility. I get in a workout and a shower and if I am waiting up for my husband to come home late, sometimes, I can fit in a movie and a half while I knit. That and I can sit and read and read and read. It's lovely. That is, of course, if the children don't make encore appearances in the night after I have put them to bed, which they have the habit of doing. Overall, I am well on my way to achieving my goals.
I finished reading Life of Pi last evening and I highly recommend it. It is thought provoking and once I started it, I simply could not stop reading it. I don't want to give anything away, but it's good enough to re-read.
Started Emma last night. Currently reading the Introduction which I absolutely love. It just sets you up to launch right into the novel.
I won't bore you any further. I guess that's all for now.
I finished Phase 1 of the South Beach diet and, I am not going to lie, it got old fast. Who wants to eat egg beaters and a pile of vegetables for breakfast washed down with a V8 every morning? Not I. I joked with my father that maybe that's the real premise of the diet, that you get bored and sick of eating all the same things and just stop altogether. Well, I had my moments, but I charged forward and did what I could and along with exercise, I lost about fifteen pounds in the first two weeks. This delighted me and also concerned me. When I lose weight fast it usually means one thing: it's going to come back. Well, I moved on to Phase 2 which re-introduces the "good carbs" back into your diet. I am attributing the initial weight loss as shock because of the massive change from eating holiday goodness to egg whites and raw veggies for two weeks. Well, moving on to Phase 2 meant to me that I had a splurge day coming. Well that day kinda camped out for about two and half days. And when I say "splurge" I don't mean that I ate cake and ice cream. I had veggie sushi and low fat, low calorie home made Chinese chicken dumplings and stove popped popcorn with olive oil. But that was enough to do it. Five pounds came back, but that still leaves me hovering at ten pounds less than when I started, so twenty days in, and all in all, I will take it.
So, today I am shaking off the early week digression and facing each day as it comes. One of the biggest lessons I have had to learn is that this all takes time. I can't wish weight away and as much as I would love to just be done with it all in a week or two, it took much longer for my body to get into the shape that I am in (which is round!) and so it's going to probably take just as long, if not longer to get out of it. I know it is said over and over in all weight loss literature, but it's a bitter pill to swallow when you just want the struggle to be over. That's another thing, it's hard not to be jealous of those who have the natural bent toward fitness and thinness. It's hard to restrain the slapping mechanism in my arm when a thin person complains about the three pounds they gained over the holidays. I know I shouldn't judge until I've walked a mile in their shoes, but walking a mile in someone's shoes who only has three pounds to lose sounds like heaven to me right now. Conversely, I can at least rejoice that I don't hundreds of pounds to lose with medical conditions and diabetes and what not. Thank God that is not the case. So, there is the silver lining. Overall, I am staying focused and changing my thoughts on food and learning what is acceptable for most may not necessarily be beneficial to me and there is no need getting my panties in a bunch over it all. As the saying goes, "it is, what it is" and I might as well just get used to it and move on.
In other news, now that the holiday crunch is over, I am amazed at the time I have once again. What on earth did I do before the fall hit? I haven't a clue. My evenings stretch before me like a wide open plain filled with possibility. I get in a workout and a shower and if I am waiting up for my husband to come home late, sometimes, I can fit in a movie and a half while I knit. That and I can sit and read and read and read. It's lovely. That is, of course, if the children don't make encore appearances in the night after I have put them to bed, which they have the habit of doing. Overall, I am well on my way to achieving my goals.
I finished reading Life of Pi last evening and I highly recommend it. It is thought provoking and once I started it, I simply could not stop reading it. I don't want to give anything away, but it's good enough to re-read.
Started Emma last night. Currently reading the Introduction which I absolutely love. It just sets you up to launch right into the novel.
I won't bore you any further. I guess that's all for now.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Too Many Hobbies, So Little Time
If you know me at all, then you will know that reading is by far my favorite thing to do in my alone down time which these days has become so rare that I barely recognize it as actual "down time" when it does occur. When this rare beast shows up, I end up either folding laundry, exercising, or watching tv in bed because I am that exhausted. Or knitting. So many of my beautiful friends are with child or have just recently experienced the arrival of their new baby that I am terribly behind in finishing the knitted items I have begun for them. I am just now finishing up something for a baby that arrived almost two weeks ago! And I had planned on having it finished for the baby shower which was this past November! Well, the point is, I am about to finish it and am taking a breather to return to my first love, books.
It's January and things have quieted down after the holiday whirlwind and instead of knitting and wrapping and baking furiously in the evenings, I have a few more moments in my evenings after I have tucked the kids into bed that can be redirected.
I have quite the reading list and more items are added every day, so I am going to start on a project that I have wanted to accomplish since I was twelve. When I was twelve I wrote out a list of all the things I wanted to do before I was 25, because at twelve, 25 years old seems so seriously adult. Twenty-five has come and gone and at 29 I would definitely like to cross off a few things from the list before I hit the big 3-0. Me, being me, of course, even at the age of twelve had books on the list. I wanted to read all the works of Jane Austen and the complete works of Shakespeare. I have had a head start, I am proud to say because in high school I read Emma, although I remember the Gwyneth Paltrow film version rather than the actual novel itself which means I must re-read it. I had also read through Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice a number of times just out of the sheer delight of them, but I am sorry to say that is as far as I have gotten. I have done better with Shakespeare mostly because in my last semester of college I took a Shakespeare course and the required reading was quite extensive which of course, made nerdy me quite satisfied. So, through the course of time I am proud to say I have made progress towards this goal's end, but as the saying goes, no cigar. This year, that is the tall order I intend to fill. Finish reading Austen and Shakespeare. I love them both for different reasons, but I believe that they both opened up society to a view of itself. Both are so honest and held up a mirror to the world in which they lived, in my opinion and both seem so true to their work. So, that is what I shall do. And I will probably be watching the movie versions so I can fit in my knitting time, too on the late nights I am waiting for my husband to come home.
I just started reading Life of Pi by Yann Martel, so I am going to finish that first before I head into my reading regimen.
As for my other hobbies, such as cooking, that is taking a back seat for now due to my weight loss goals and overall health plan. I must say, that the French in me is so strong that if I can't cook using real butter and cheese and other yummy things that should only be eaten in moderation, then well, I really don't feel much like doing it at all. So I find that I am mostly chopping vegetables for salads and baking skinless chicken breast and broiling fish and steaming hunks of broccoli. Not much fun, but I am making a great start in accomplishing that particular goal. That and taking better care of myself. It's quite embarrassing to sit down in that great big swivel chair at the salon and have the hairdresser take one look at my hair and correctly estimate how long it had been since I have been back there. Who knows, she could have cheated and checked out my card before hand to guilt me into coming back sooner, but needless to say, I was so mortified I left making the obligatory six week appointment for the end of January.
In other news, the kids are thriving which is a delight to a parent. My sweet, beautiful daughter will be four years old this Saturday. I am completely flabbergasted. My little dumpling boy learns new words every day and will be two in the spring. Again, astounded...
That's all for now.
It's January and things have quieted down after the holiday whirlwind and instead of knitting and wrapping and baking furiously in the evenings, I have a few more moments in my evenings after I have tucked the kids into bed that can be redirected.
I have quite the reading list and more items are added every day, so I am going to start on a project that I have wanted to accomplish since I was twelve. When I was twelve I wrote out a list of all the things I wanted to do before I was 25, because at twelve, 25 years old seems so seriously adult. Twenty-five has come and gone and at 29 I would definitely like to cross off a few things from the list before I hit the big 3-0. Me, being me, of course, even at the age of twelve had books on the list. I wanted to read all the works of Jane Austen and the complete works of Shakespeare. I have had a head start, I am proud to say because in high school I read Emma, although I remember the Gwyneth Paltrow film version rather than the actual novel itself which means I must re-read it. I had also read through Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice a number of times just out of the sheer delight of them, but I am sorry to say that is as far as I have gotten. I have done better with Shakespeare mostly because in my last semester of college I took a Shakespeare course and the required reading was quite extensive which of course, made nerdy me quite satisfied. So, through the course of time I am proud to say I have made progress towards this goal's end, but as the saying goes, no cigar. This year, that is the tall order I intend to fill. Finish reading Austen and Shakespeare. I love them both for different reasons, but I believe that they both opened up society to a view of itself. Both are so honest and held up a mirror to the world in which they lived, in my opinion and both seem so true to their work. So, that is what I shall do. And I will probably be watching the movie versions so I can fit in my knitting time, too on the late nights I am waiting for my husband to come home.
I just started reading Life of Pi by Yann Martel, so I am going to finish that first before I head into my reading regimen.
As for my other hobbies, such as cooking, that is taking a back seat for now due to my weight loss goals and overall health plan. I must say, that the French in me is so strong that if I can't cook using real butter and cheese and other yummy things that should only be eaten in moderation, then well, I really don't feel much like doing it at all. So I find that I am mostly chopping vegetables for salads and baking skinless chicken breast and broiling fish and steaming hunks of broccoli. Not much fun, but I am making a great start in accomplishing that particular goal. That and taking better care of myself. It's quite embarrassing to sit down in that great big swivel chair at the salon and have the hairdresser take one look at my hair and correctly estimate how long it had been since I have been back there. Who knows, she could have cheated and checked out my card before hand to guilt me into coming back sooner, but needless to say, I was so mortified I left making the obligatory six week appointment for the end of January.
In other news, the kids are thriving which is a delight to a parent. My sweet, beautiful daughter will be four years old this Saturday. I am completely flabbergasted. My little dumpling boy learns new words every day and will be two in the spring. Again, astounded...
That's all for now.
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