We all know about "The Wagon" and we are all either on one, off one or mid tumble. I am mid tumble and I guess tomorrow I need to climb my chubby bum back up on this wagon of mine.
Yet another life lesson learned. What came easily ten years ago, does not come easily now. What worked ten years ago, does not seem to work now. Am I doomed to be a chubby woman the rest of my days alive on this earth? Good God Almighty, I hope not.
When Andrew and I first got married he used to tease me relentlessly about my little philosophy of "everything is re-evaluated in the morning." On evenings before our days off together, we would talk about how the next day "held so much promise" and we planned on waking up early and getting list after list of things done. We would prepare for the coming week and just talking about it, making a plan seemed just as good as ACTUALLY carrying it out. The next morning would come, "Doo doo doo!! The day has arrived," the little alarm clock seemed to sing to us, and would we actually go through with our productive plans? I don't recall anything ever really going completely as we had painstakingly planned because Andrew would always hit the snooze button and then ask me if we were really going to get out of bed and I would almost always say with my face still buried deep into the pillow, "Everything is re-evaluated in the morning." Off we were back to our slumber and when we finally rolled out of our apartment at noon or so, we got a few things done, but let's face it, we liked our sleep (oh the days before children arrived!!) and we enjoyed our leisure just as much as making plans and not carrying them out. This doesn't work anymore.
Missing a workout here and there and enjoying a late night pizza-fest wasn't a big deal at that time. Now, it's major damage. It's not just a re-evaluated dinner, it completely constitutes an official "fall off the wagon" status. Which means there needs to be a "climbing back on the wagon." I am still struggling at the ten pound mark and have a ways to go. At least it's something. Maybe I should re-evaluate my diet. If I can't seem to stay on the plan I have picked, does that mean perhaps, I should choose something to suit my needs and personality and eating tendencies a little better? Or does that mean that I have used my Re-evaluation Philosophy to my own detriment and health? I really can't say. Maybe a little bit of both?
Either way, I hate this wagon. Climbing back on it is a b****. (Forgive the *****, but that's how I feel)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Mommy-dom
I was talking to a dear friend the other day and she mentioned something that I have found to be oh so true, thus far in my Mommy-dom journey. She said that being a mother, for the most part, is a thankless and sleepless job. Well, I do get thanked sometimes, "Thank you Mommy for lunch/dinner/milk" but that is mostly because I have taught my daughter to say it because I want to hear it. Other than that, I don't get much thanks or sleep for that matter, but that's ok. Being a mommy and watching your children grow to become amazing people is thanks enough...sometimes.
It's this in between part, the "in the trenches," so to speak that is the hard part. It is oh so true also that just when you have gotten out of one phase with the kids, you find yourself smack dab in the middle of another and you wonder, "What the heck is going on!?" This part in between birth and adulthood has proven to be quite interesting. My husband refers to our children lovingly as "malfunctioning robots" and again, it seems to be very true. You never really know what will happen from one moment to the next.
Yesterday I went into my four year old daughter's room for a routine straightening and I found all kinds of interesting things. The bed was un-made so I went to make it and as I lifted the comforter and sheet to shake out and straighten her comforter I realized there was a bottle of baby Tylenol (unopened thank God!), an open tube of Aquifor (which explained the inexplicably greasy hair my daughter had that day) which lay in a massive greasy spot on her new comforter, and Ricola wrappers. Hm. I called her into her room and after some stern words, I find that she likes to get out of bed and sneak into her brother's room and search through his drawers which is where she found the first two items. Furthermore, she must have found her way into our room at some point and swiped my Ricolas which I keep by my bed. Now the children are never really left alone other than at night when I put them to bed, so this explains the bags under her little eyes. My little scavenger night owl. Further clean up revealed her hidden stash of Ricolas stuffed into a bag in the corner of her room, some of which had been chewed on and replaced back in their wrappers. So she must get all hopped up on honey and echinacea Ricolas and wander around at night greasing up her bed and hair with Aquifor and doing Lord only knows what else. The gate in front of her door is no longer effective. So, her bed linens have been washed for the second time in the two weeks since she has gotten them and all items have been replaced in their proper storage places. For now.
What is next?
That's all for now...
It's this in between part, the "in the trenches," so to speak that is the hard part. It is oh so true also that just when you have gotten out of one phase with the kids, you find yourself smack dab in the middle of another and you wonder, "What the heck is going on!?" This part in between birth and adulthood has proven to be quite interesting. My husband refers to our children lovingly as "malfunctioning robots" and again, it seems to be very true. You never really know what will happen from one moment to the next.
Yesterday I went into my four year old daughter's room for a routine straightening and I found all kinds of interesting things. The bed was un-made so I went to make it and as I lifted the comforter and sheet to shake out and straighten her comforter I realized there was a bottle of baby Tylenol (unopened thank God!), an open tube of Aquifor (which explained the inexplicably greasy hair my daughter had that day) which lay in a massive greasy spot on her new comforter, and Ricola wrappers. Hm. I called her into her room and after some stern words, I find that she likes to get out of bed and sneak into her brother's room and search through his drawers which is where she found the first two items. Furthermore, she must have found her way into our room at some point and swiped my Ricolas which I keep by my bed. Now the children are never really left alone other than at night when I put them to bed, so this explains the bags under her little eyes. My little scavenger night owl. Further clean up revealed her hidden stash of Ricolas stuffed into a bag in the corner of her room, some of which had been chewed on and replaced back in their wrappers. So she must get all hopped up on honey and echinacea Ricolas and wander around at night greasing up her bed and hair with Aquifor and doing Lord only knows what else. The gate in front of her door is no longer effective. So, her bed linens have been washed for the second time in the two weeks since she has gotten them and all items have been replaced in their proper storage places. For now.
What is next?
That's all for now...
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Twenty Days In...
Sometimes change can be a hard thing. It's exciting and fun, but more often than not, it's not the easiest thing to actually put into practice.
I finished Phase 1 of the South Beach diet and, I am not going to lie, it got old fast. Who wants to eat egg beaters and a pile of vegetables for breakfast washed down with a V8 every morning? Not I. I joked with my father that maybe that's the real premise of the diet, that you get bored and sick of eating all the same things and just stop altogether. Well, I had my moments, but I charged forward and did what I could and along with exercise, I lost about fifteen pounds in the first two weeks. This delighted me and also concerned me. When I lose weight fast it usually means one thing: it's going to come back. Well, I moved on to Phase 2 which re-introduces the "good carbs" back into your diet. I am attributing the initial weight loss as shock because of the massive change from eating holiday goodness to egg whites and raw veggies for two weeks. Well, moving on to Phase 2 meant to me that I had a splurge day coming. Well that day kinda camped out for about two and half days. And when I say "splurge" I don't mean that I ate cake and ice cream. I had veggie sushi and low fat, low calorie home made Chinese chicken dumplings and stove popped popcorn with olive oil. But that was enough to do it. Five pounds came back, but that still leaves me hovering at ten pounds less than when I started, so twenty days in, and all in all, I will take it.
So, today I am shaking off the early week digression and facing each day as it comes. One of the biggest lessons I have had to learn is that this all takes time. I can't wish weight away and as much as I would love to just be done with it all in a week or two, it took much longer for my body to get into the shape that I am in (which is round!) and so it's going to probably take just as long, if not longer to get out of it. I know it is said over and over in all weight loss literature, but it's a bitter pill to swallow when you just want the struggle to be over. That's another thing, it's hard not to be jealous of those who have the natural bent toward fitness and thinness. It's hard to restrain the slapping mechanism in my arm when a thin person complains about the three pounds they gained over the holidays. I know I shouldn't judge until I've walked a mile in their shoes, but walking a mile in someone's shoes who only has three pounds to lose sounds like heaven to me right now. Conversely, I can at least rejoice that I don't hundreds of pounds to lose with medical conditions and diabetes and what not. Thank God that is not the case. So, there is the silver lining. Overall, I am staying focused and changing my thoughts on food and learning what is acceptable for most may not necessarily be beneficial to me and there is no need getting my panties in a bunch over it all. As the saying goes, "it is, what it is" and I might as well just get used to it and move on.
In other news, now that the holiday crunch is over, I am amazed at the time I have once again. What on earth did I do before the fall hit? I haven't a clue. My evenings stretch before me like a wide open plain filled with possibility. I get in a workout and a shower and if I am waiting up for my husband to come home late, sometimes, I can fit in a movie and a half while I knit. That and I can sit and read and read and read. It's lovely. That is, of course, if the children don't make encore appearances in the night after I have put them to bed, which they have the habit of doing. Overall, I am well on my way to achieving my goals.
I finished reading Life of Pi last evening and I highly recommend it. It is thought provoking and once I started it, I simply could not stop reading it. I don't want to give anything away, but it's good enough to re-read.
Started Emma last night. Currently reading the Introduction which I absolutely love. It just sets you up to launch right into the novel.
I won't bore you any further. I guess that's all for now.
I finished Phase 1 of the South Beach diet and, I am not going to lie, it got old fast. Who wants to eat egg beaters and a pile of vegetables for breakfast washed down with a V8 every morning? Not I. I joked with my father that maybe that's the real premise of the diet, that you get bored and sick of eating all the same things and just stop altogether. Well, I had my moments, but I charged forward and did what I could and along with exercise, I lost about fifteen pounds in the first two weeks. This delighted me and also concerned me. When I lose weight fast it usually means one thing: it's going to come back. Well, I moved on to Phase 2 which re-introduces the "good carbs" back into your diet. I am attributing the initial weight loss as shock because of the massive change from eating holiday goodness to egg whites and raw veggies for two weeks. Well, moving on to Phase 2 meant to me that I had a splurge day coming. Well that day kinda camped out for about two and half days. And when I say "splurge" I don't mean that I ate cake and ice cream. I had veggie sushi and low fat, low calorie home made Chinese chicken dumplings and stove popped popcorn with olive oil. But that was enough to do it. Five pounds came back, but that still leaves me hovering at ten pounds less than when I started, so twenty days in, and all in all, I will take it.
So, today I am shaking off the early week digression and facing each day as it comes. One of the biggest lessons I have had to learn is that this all takes time. I can't wish weight away and as much as I would love to just be done with it all in a week or two, it took much longer for my body to get into the shape that I am in (which is round!) and so it's going to probably take just as long, if not longer to get out of it. I know it is said over and over in all weight loss literature, but it's a bitter pill to swallow when you just want the struggle to be over. That's another thing, it's hard not to be jealous of those who have the natural bent toward fitness and thinness. It's hard to restrain the slapping mechanism in my arm when a thin person complains about the three pounds they gained over the holidays. I know I shouldn't judge until I've walked a mile in their shoes, but walking a mile in someone's shoes who only has three pounds to lose sounds like heaven to me right now. Conversely, I can at least rejoice that I don't hundreds of pounds to lose with medical conditions and diabetes and what not. Thank God that is not the case. So, there is the silver lining. Overall, I am staying focused and changing my thoughts on food and learning what is acceptable for most may not necessarily be beneficial to me and there is no need getting my panties in a bunch over it all. As the saying goes, "it is, what it is" and I might as well just get used to it and move on.
In other news, now that the holiday crunch is over, I am amazed at the time I have once again. What on earth did I do before the fall hit? I haven't a clue. My evenings stretch before me like a wide open plain filled with possibility. I get in a workout and a shower and if I am waiting up for my husband to come home late, sometimes, I can fit in a movie and a half while I knit. That and I can sit and read and read and read. It's lovely. That is, of course, if the children don't make encore appearances in the night after I have put them to bed, which they have the habit of doing. Overall, I am well on my way to achieving my goals.
I finished reading Life of Pi last evening and I highly recommend it. It is thought provoking and once I started it, I simply could not stop reading it. I don't want to give anything away, but it's good enough to re-read.
Started Emma last night. Currently reading the Introduction which I absolutely love. It just sets you up to launch right into the novel.
I won't bore you any further. I guess that's all for now.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Too Many Hobbies, So Little Time
If you know me at all, then you will know that reading is by far my favorite thing to do in my alone down time which these days has become so rare that I barely recognize it as actual "down time" when it does occur. When this rare beast shows up, I end up either folding laundry, exercising, or watching tv in bed because I am that exhausted. Or knitting. So many of my beautiful friends are with child or have just recently experienced the arrival of their new baby that I am terribly behind in finishing the knitted items I have begun for them. I am just now finishing up something for a baby that arrived almost two weeks ago! And I had planned on having it finished for the baby shower which was this past November! Well, the point is, I am about to finish it and am taking a breather to return to my first love, books.
It's January and things have quieted down after the holiday whirlwind and instead of knitting and wrapping and baking furiously in the evenings, I have a few more moments in my evenings after I have tucked the kids into bed that can be redirected.
I have quite the reading list and more items are added every day, so I am going to start on a project that I have wanted to accomplish since I was twelve. When I was twelve I wrote out a list of all the things I wanted to do before I was 25, because at twelve, 25 years old seems so seriously adult. Twenty-five has come and gone and at 29 I would definitely like to cross off a few things from the list before I hit the big 3-0. Me, being me, of course, even at the age of twelve had books on the list. I wanted to read all the works of Jane Austen and the complete works of Shakespeare. I have had a head start, I am proud to say because in high school I read Emma, although I remember the Gwyneth Paltrow film version rather than the actual novel itself which means I must re-read it. I had also read through Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice a number of times just out of the sheer delight of them, but I am sorry to say that is as far as I have gotten. I have done better with Shakespeare mostly because in my last semester of college I took a Shakespeare course and the required reading was quite extensive which of course, made nerdy me quite satisfied. So, through the course of time I am proud to say I have made progress towards this goal's end, but as the saying goes, no cigar. This year, that is the tall order I intend to fill. Finish reading Austen and Shakespeare. I love them both for different reasons, but I believe that they both opened up society to a view of itself. Both are so honest and held up a mirror to the world in which they lived, in my opinion and both seem so true to their work. So, that is what I shall do. And I will probably be watching the movie versions so I can fit in my knitting time, too on the late nights I am waiting for my husband to come home.
I just started reading Life of Pi by Yann Martel, so I am going to finish that first before I head into my reading regimen.
As for my other hobbies, such as cooking, that is taking a back seat for now due to my weight loss goals and overall health plan. I must say, that the French in me is so strong that if I can't cook using real butter and cheese and other yummy things that should only be eaten in moderation, then well, I really don't feel much like doing it at all. So I find that I am mostly chopping vegetables for salads and baking skinless chicken breast and broiling fish and steaming hunks of broccoli. Not much fun, but I am making a great start in accomplishing that particular goal. That and taking better care of myself. It's quite embarrassing to sit down in that great big swivel chair at the salon and have the hairdresser take one look at my hair and correctly estimate how long it had been since I have been back there. Who knows, she could have cheated and checked out my card before hand to guilt me into coming back sooner, but needless to say, I was so mortified I left making the obligatory six week appointment for the end of January.
In other news, the kids are thriving which is a delight to a parent. My sweet, beautiful daughter will be four years old this Saturday. I am completely flabbergasted. My little dumpling boy learns new words every day and will be two in the spring. Again, astounded...
That's all for now.
It's January and things have quieted down after the holiday whirlwind and instead of knitting and wrapping and baking furiously in the evenings, I have a few more moments in my evenings after I have tucked the kids into bed that can be redirected.
I have quite the reading list and more items are added every day, so I am going to start on a project that I have wanted to accomplish since I was twelve. When I was twelve I wrote out a list of all the things I wanted to do before I was 25, because at twelve, 25 years old seems so seriously adult. Twenty-five has come and gone and at 29 I would definitely like to cross off a few things from the list before I hit the big 3-0. Me, being me, of course, even at the age of twelve had books on the list. I wanted to read all the works of Jane Austen and the complete works of Shakespeare. I have had a head start, I am proud to say because in high school I read Emma, although I remember the Gwyneth Paltrow film version rather than the actual novel itself which means I must re-read it. I had also read through Sense and Sensibility and Pride and Prejudice a number of times just out of the sheer delight of them, but I am sorry to say that is as far as I have gotten. I have done better with Shakespeare mostly because in my last semester of college I took a Shakespeare course and the required reading was quite extensive which of course, made nerdy me quite satisfied. So, through the course of time I am proud to say I have made progress towards this goal's end, but as the saying goes, no cigar. This year, that is the tall order I intend to fill. Finish reading Austen and Shakespeare. I love them both for different reasons, but I believe that they both opened up society to a view of itself. Both are so honest and held up a mirror to the world in which they lived, in my opinion and both seem so true to their work. So, that is what I shall do. And I will probably be watching the movie versions so I can fit in my knitting time, too on the late nights I am waiting for my husband to come home.
I just started reading Life of Pi by Yann Martel, so I am going to finish that first before I head into my reading regimen.
As for my other hobbies, such as cooking, that is taking a back seat for now due to my weight loss goals and overall health plan. I must say, that the French in me is so strong that if I can't cook using real butter and cheese and other yummy things that should only be eaten in moderation, then well, I really don't feel much like doing it at all. So I find that I am mostly chopping vegetables for salads and baking skinless chicken breast and broiling fish and steaming hunks of broccoli. Not much fun, but I am making a great start in accomplishing that particular goal. That and taking better care of myself. It's quite embarrassing to sit down in that great big swivel chair at the salon and have the hairdresser take one look at my hair and correctly estimate how long it had been since I have been back there. Who knows, she could have cheated and checked out my card before hand to guilt me into coming back sooner, but needless to say, I was so mortified I left making the obligatory six week appointment for the end of January.
In other news, the kids are thriving which is a delight to a parent. My sweet, beautiful daughter will be four years old this Saturday. I am completely flabbergasted. My little dumpling boy learns new words every day and will be two in the spring. Again, astounded...
That's all for now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)