The Balancing Act

So how do you do it?

This whole Balancing Act of Motherhood, I mean. Because frankly, I don't feel that I balance very well. I am aware of my tendency to sacrifice myself at the altar of my family and children and friends. The last time I had my hair done was in July... It's simple math so I will let you count the months. Yes, it's March and I just went this past Friday. I'm not going to tell you how long it's been since I had a check up. And I don't say that like I'm proud. It's obviously a huge problem because how can I be a healthy well rounded, adjusted mother if I'm, well, not?

Between the drop offs and pick ups, meals and snacks, dishes, laundry, baths, homework, story times, parties, church, diaper changes, help with hair and teeth brushing, general tidying, not to mention the outings to the market and the odd snafus of skinned knees, paper cuts, squabbles, ripped books to be taped, tears to be wiped, spills to be sopped up, etc., etc., etc., ad infinitum... I guess I just don't see where I am supposed to take a shower, dress and make up my face and hair, exercise, date my husband, go to the doctor, get my hair done, eat right and not bits of hot dog and cheese left on the cutting board (yes, I am aware of how gross it is, but you know you do it, too!), and again, not to mention all the fun hobbies in life that make it worthwhile, outings with my girl friends, and I cannot even fathom a real live job (kudos to my fellow Mommies who have that thrown into the mix)!

So. I pose this question in all earnestness: How DO YOU do it?

Maybe that balance of it is just that right now is the portion of life where the scales are just naturally tipped in favor of Others and my Self will just have to wait for a while? I keep telling myself that in order to make myself feel better.

"Oh, you are missing all these movies now, but when they are older and all in school, you will get to go whenever you'd like!"

"I am sure once my kids are grown I'll have nothing to do but go get my hair and nails done, anyway, so I might as well enjoy my ponytail and sweats with my baby on my hip as an excuse!"

It makes me feel a tad better, but I know it doesn't seem completely right. I do give myself an hour at nap time, if I  can, to have some Me Time and I try to get as much done during the day so that way when the kids are in bed at night, I don't have to always be doing dishes and schlepping laundry in the night, too. I mean, I am a Stay at Home Mom, not a Robot Maid, right?!

So what steps do you take in order to keep yourself, your marriage, your kids and your life in general all on an even playing field? Or maybe you also are facing the same Un Balanced Act that I am?

Life Lessons from The Breakfast Club

I once read a book about a woman who was a hired "cool hunter," someone who was supposed to know what the "next cool thing" waiting to happen would be.

The main character had an aversion to labels of any kind, any name brand she'd scratch off an appliance or cut the tags from her clothes. I kinda like that. It resonated with me when I read it and I still think about it.

What if our clothing came without labels? What if we received our favorite store catalogues but the names were blanked out? What if all we could see were the pictures, maybe not even the prices because of course those with the expensive tastes would think to purchase "the best" would be to purchase the items that were most expensive, thus inadvertently labeling it "better" what if these labels no longer existed? What if all food was just food in boxes marked with what the contents were? Brand names being a thing of the past?

Now, I know this is taking it to an extreme to where it breaks down into almost a socialistic view, but I am not making a political point. Far from it. I am making a personal point.

We label and ascribe value to everything and everyone we meet. It's instantaneous. We see someone and they are in new crisp clothes, clean and made up and well spoken and they are put in a certain category in our mind as opposed to the someone else who is always in ragged sweats, hair unbrushed or whatever and they are probably put in a completely opposite category. It could be a first impression like in Trading Places, but the switch has already occurred. You never know. You would never be able to tell. What does a "Bad Parent" look like anyway? What does a "Good Child" look like? How do they act? Or maybe it's someone just having a bad day? Going through a rough time? Or how about someone who is finally having an easy time of things after a long struggle? The thing is, you just never know and to label anyone as anything at any point in life is silly of us because we are ever evolving, nothing is static in life.

We all need to remember that just when we've found the next "Cool Thing," *whoosh* Hasn't it already become old news? And just when we think we've got someone pegged, shouldn't we think, "Shame on me! They are working on themselves just like I am, who am I to judge?"

Call me optimistic and idealistic, but I want my children to grow up in a world unlike the This One where every day is a new chance to be the best they can be and not to have them held back by the labels from the day before. I certainly don't want to be held to my standards of yesterday or even today.

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson 

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" ~Plato 

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." ~Dalai Lama

In Like a Lion

March is ugly and wet and gray in New England. Things don't start getting pretty around here again until about sometime in May. I've never been much of a fan of spring because of this, but I am definitely happy for spring for probably the first time in my life. The kids get to go back to soccer and we can get to the playground again and it will be warm enough to walk to school and the library and this year I have a house to spring clean and, oddly enough, I am terrifically excited about that. 

I feel like I just put the March schedule up on our dry erase calendar, but that was a week ago already and it has totally filled up since. I stand in the kitchen and just stare at it because it is packed with all of our comings and goings and honestly, I am slightly overwhelmed with all that's going on this month. I constantly remind myself that it's not all at once. We only live one moment, one hour, one day at a time not the whole month  in five minutes, so it's easier for me to process the one day at a time, item by item. Looking at all the lists of meals and the kids activities and my activities and the blue lines of my husbands trips crossing through entire weeks of the calendar, it makes me feel like I'm slogging through thick mud and then I look out the window and see the gray skies and it can be a bit much. But we only have to focus on one day at a time... We don't really have any other option. Even if we wanted to do next week first, well, that's just not going to happen unless someone has a time machine I don't know about. 

So, we march into March and just keep marching on through. We spring forward on Sunday and I can hear mothers across the nation groaning because that one hour messes so much with bedtime. It's hard enough to get three spirited children to bed ...to stay... at a reasonable hour as it is. Sheer madness. 

But now? It's bedtime and a hush has fallen... hopefully to remain. 

Tonight, I am reading A Thousand Splendid Suns 

And isn't this the sweetest baby blanket you've ever seen. I almost want to make it for myself in varying shades of grey, cream, and green, maybe yellow? Maybe I'll get to play with some yarn tonight. 

I'm not sure how late I am going to make it. Shocker of all shockers I completely didn't get a chance to pour myself a cup of coffee this morning and then next thing I know, it's 2:30 in the afternoon and I am tired and cranky and the bulb went on on the top of my head. Coffee. Bing! 

So, I had a mere cup when it came to me and I've gone down hill since. So, I can blame my incoherence and lack of focus today on that fact alone. 

And there is a little boy who seems to think he is invisible trying to sneak past me after he was already put to bed three times... 

So, that's all for now.